Dudette in the Kitchenette

This little Dudette went to market.

2009-07-16T16:09:00.004-04:00

And I totally cried “wee wee wee” all the way home, too.

Out of excitement, of course! The farmer’s market in my town finally opened at the beginning of July, but today’s the first time I’ve had a chance to go. It’s a once-weekly affair, and last week lazing around the apartment in my pajamas took precedence.

There’s really no grand point to this post, except I hope it motivates you to seek out a farmer’s market in your area. Or, if you live in my old stomping grounds—Big AR—then make it a point to stop and check out the roadside produce stands. After long, hot days swimming at Lake DeGray as a kid, I used to love it when mom stopped on the side of the highway and let us pick out watermelons from the old men selling from their truck beds. Hope you find some yummy, fresh fruits and veggies!

Here are my awesome scores: potatoes, lettuce, summer squash, a cucumber, Portabello mushrooms, blueberries, grape tomatoes and a chive plant.

BANG!

2009-07-06T16:15:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I'm not exactly back with a bang. It's more like... back with a fizzle. Besides, it's the Monday after a bang, pop and explosion-filled Fourth of July weekend, so I'm sure all of you have had plenty of excitement already.

So while you're preoccupied, filled with grilled burgers and just trying to get through the workday, I'm going to slink back into this blog unnoticed. Don't worry, I'll try to dazzle you later, when visions of fireworks have disappeared from your heads.

For now, here are some interesting food tips I've been reading. They come from a Food Network notepad that I received as a parting gift at the end of my short stint there back in the spring. Here are a few that I found helpful.

-"Herbs last longer if you remove bands or ties from bunches before storing. Herbs deteriorate from the inside out and along the tie when bunched. Store hardy herbs, thyme, rosemary, oregano, tarragon and sage loosely packed in a paper towel-lined sealed container."

-"Paper or Plastic? Mushrooms should take the paper route because they become slimy when stored in plastic bags. If your grocer only supplies plastic bags, transfer mushrooms to a bowl and cover with a paper towel before refrigerating."

-"Pineapple's peak is March through July. The sniff test rather than plucking a frond will tell you if the fruit is ripe. Turn the fruit upside down and take a whiff--if it has a full fruity perfume, it is ready. Steer clear of ones with any smell of alcohol. A golden shell indicates a softer fruit, better for desserts, and a greener hue points to firmer flesh, better for savory dishes."

Getting a slice of that Twitter pie

2009-06-02T16:13:00.003-04:00

Ok, I’m not really.

Yet.

And just in case you don’t know (I’m looking at you, mom), Twitter is the biggest, bangiest thing in social networking sites since Facebook and Myspace. Basically, you have friends who follow your tweets, small 140 character posts about what you’re doing, where you are, what you’re reading, etc. People tweet their daily routines, links to blogs, philosophical thoughts, you name it. It’s like mini blog posts for those afflicted with ADHD. (That’s part of my discomfort with the idea—our nation’s attention span seems to get shorter and shorter every day…)

BUT! I will admit that there are some pretty creative and interesting uses for the site. Some cooking and food tweeters have popped up. And while I’m not sure how I feel about the actual site yet, I think this little slice of Twitter pie is good enough to share.

Back in April the New York Times wrote an article about Maureen, a 27-year-old who tweets recipes through the site on cookbook. Think about that. A recipe. In 140 chararcters. Serious editing skills.

From the article: ‘“I do this as a coffee-break hobby,” she said. “Kind of like sudoku. I really get a kick out of how complex a recipe I can fit into 140 characters.”

(Thanks for the tip, Drew!)

And if you’re a fan of the humor blog, Cake Wrecks, which documents “when professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong,” check out the official Cake Wrecks Twitter. It’s a great way to get an extra dose of baked goods (preferably the disastrous kind!), and blogger Jen shares links and content that don’t appear on the regular blog. By the way, if you’re not a fan of Cake Wrecks, you should be. Trust.

Have any of you encountered some fun or interesting food Twitters? If so, I wanna hear about it!

Psssst...hey, you!

2009-05-28T14:39:00.004-04:00

Shhhh! I've gotta whisper this; this is delicate information.

I'm currently temping for a company that is extremely relevant to this blog. Now, don't wet your pants or anything. I'm just working the front reception desk for two weeks, and no, I don't see Paula Deen or Emeril Lagasse waltz in everyday for work, but still...kinda cool, right?

P.S. Sorry about my absence from the blosgosphere! May has been a busy month. I'm hoping to get back on a regular posting schedule soon. So don't worry, I've been testing out some great new recipes and finding lots of fun stuff to post about so be on the lookout!

My Sadness Leads to Spice Girls, Cake Balls

2009-05-01T19:00:00.005-04:00

Liz, my part-time comic-strip artist and full-time bestie, has left the New York Metro Area for greener pastures—well, she will certainly be surrounded by greenery—her far homeland of Connecticut. And since I’ve made, like, two whole other friends after five years in NYC, I’ve been acting like a whiny turd for months. Anywho, I’m drowning my sadness in old Spice Girls songs, specifically:

It’s incredibly apt for this situation, you have to admit.

There was also a wake (errr…going away party) for the departing and beloved Elizabeth. I contributed spinach dip (of course), but I also tried something new—Red Velvet Cake Balls—which you may recognize. Basically, these are the simple version of the Easter Cake Pops from Bakerella. I wanted to make little Liz zombie heads, but I thought I should keep it simple since this was my first attempt. Maybe someday I’ll manage to do more than the basic version.

Word of advice, if you make these—and you should, because census was they were delish—give yourself a lot of time. The directions seem simple, but it is time-freaking-consuming. The cake alone takes about 30 minutes to bake, another 45 minutes to cool. And then there's the rolling of the balls, the chilling of the balls, the chocolate coating of the balls, etc. (Yes, lots of balls. The hilarity of that sentence is not lost on me.) Of course, if I hadn’t started baking at 11pm when I had to get up at 6am the next morning, maybe the time issue wouldn’t have seemed so important. I'm going to blame 2am on the fact that these look a little busted. Thank goodness for sprinkles in the shape of cows, dinosaurs and stars.

Red Velvet Cake Balls
Recipe from Bakerella

1 box red velvet cake mix, baked according to directions on box for 13x9 cake
1 16 oz can cream cheese frosting
1 package chocolate bark (regular or white chocolate)
wax paper or aluminum foil
sprinkles, optional

After cake is cooked and cooled completely, crumble into large bowl. Mix thoroughly with 1 can cream cheese frosting. Roll mixture into quarter size balls and lay on cookie sheet. Chill for several hours, or pop them in the freezer for 20 or so minutes. Melt chocolate in microwave per directions on package. Use a spoon to dip and roll balls in chocolate. Tap off any extra and lay on wax paper until firm.

Makes approximately 40 to 50.

Quote that made my day (creative title this is not)

2009-05-01T16:07:00.008-04:00

"They had their cake, loved it, masticated it, chewed it and then became extremely sick from food poisoning."

From Rich Juzwiak, the fabulous blogger at FourFour, in a post about the infamous ladies of 1975 documentary, Grey Gardens, and current HBO movie of the same name starring Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange.

Life Lesson: When cupcakes are involved, it's OK to act like a 4-year-old.

2009-04-20T13:22:00.005-04:00

Even though I haven’t had cable TV for almost a year, I manage to spend an inordinate amount of time watching TV shows. I get my fix online, since most networks now provide episodes on their websites. This weekend I decided to catch up with The Gosselins, TLC’s adorable big family. The show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, follows Jon and Kate Gosselin, their twin 8-year-old girls and their 4-year-old sextuplets.

In this episode, the sextuplets turn four and instead of throwing their usual carnival-themed bash, the kids go to a bakery and decorate cupcakes instead. (Btw, I totally have the sprinkles they use. Wut!) The drama doesn’t start until they get home from the bakery (around minute 3:45 in the clip below), and the kids are told that they won’t get cupcakes until they eat their dinner.

Of course, some of the kids—in this case, the three boys—don’t eat dinner and have mini meltdowns when they realize they won’t get their birthday treats. This glorious moment is why I felt obliged to post this clip. Perhaps I’m cruel and heartless but I chuckled to myself when Aaden cries in anguish, “I don’t get my cupcake?!” (at 5:10)

Then again, it probably makes me laugh because I know that in that situation I would scream the exact same words, just with more tears and violence.

Taking Inventory

2009-04-19T22:07:00.004-04:00

I realized that the folder for food photos on my computer was becoming unruly, so I decided to organize it today. What I realized in the process was appalling—I have 28 recipes that I have made and have yet to blog about.

The horror! The shame! The… procrastination!

And if I’m going to be truly honest, then I have to admit that there are many more un-blogged-about recipes than that. They aren’t as obvious since I don’t have photos of the finished products. This often happens because I’m STARVING and just want to eat instead of worrying about lighting and presentation. But I know those delicious little meals are lurking in my guilty subconscious, waiting for blogging redemption.

So, in the spirit of being as productive on my blog as I apparently am in my kitchen, here’s a vegetarian recipe that I made a couple of weeks ago.

(Btw, I have SO been keeping my New Year’s resolution to make veggie meals at least once a week. Go me!)

Moroccan Chickpea Stew
From First for Women, 2008

When to cook: On a weeknight when you need a quick meal and you’re sick of your go-to of pasta or baked chicken. This only takes about 20 minutes to prepare, and couscous cooks in 10 minutes or less!

½ cup chopped onions
2 teaspoon chopped garlic
1 teaspoon Moroccan rub, like the Spice Hunter (I couldn’t find this in our crappily-stocked grocery store, so I used some various spices already in my cupboard…a little ground cumin, thyme, salt and pepper.)
2 Tablespoons olive oil
2 cans (14.5 oz each) fire-roasted diced tomatoes
1 can (15.5 oz) chickpeas, drained.
2 cups arugula
¼ cup raisins (Or Craisins, which I used instead because I had them on hand)
¼ cup slivered almonds
Cooked couscous

Heat oil over large skillet on medium heat. Cook onions, garlic and spices in hot oil. When the onions are soft, add cans of tomatoes and chickpeas; cover and simmer 5 minutes. Stir in arugula, raisins and almonds. Cook 2 minutes. Serve over couscous.

Makes about 4 servings. Total cost: $8.58; $2.15 per serving.

The First—and Probably the Last—Time I Post about Kate Moss

2009-04-07T14:06:00.004-04:00

Fun Fact: I am a connoisseur of celebrity gossip and news. Tabloids like Us and Star are the new generation of soap operas like Days of Our Lives and As the World Turns—it’s just good melodrama and crazy antics without the bad acting (for the most part).

Yesterday as I was reading my gossip blogs, I found something interesting: Kate Moss has been cooking kosher meals for her boyfriend Jamie Hince, from the band The Kills, and now she wants to write a cookbook. From Hollywood Rag: “A source said told (sic) Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: ‘She's buzzing about the idea of being the first supermodel to release a cookbook.’”

Hhhhhmmm.

See, I’m not surprised when a 90s-era supermodel launches a clothing line or perfume, stars in her own reality show or writes a tell-all autobiography about her career. (In fact, I encourage these things. America’s Next Top Model is ludicrous and glorious, and I am absolutely addicted.)

But a cookbook, Kate Moss? It’s great that you’re learning to cook, and that you like creating meals! It really is! But your newfound love of kosher cooking does not mean that you should produce a cookbook. Please, please don’t start a new trend of supermodel cookbooks. The world does not need super-skinny people telling the rest of us fatties what to eat.

What do you guys think? Am I being too harsh on Ms. Moss? Would you buy her cookbook, or would you rather purchase one from someone who has a bit more expertise in the kitchen?

UPDATE (04.09): Kate Moss's publicist has chimed in about the cookbook rumors, saying "There is no cookbook. We do not know where it came from but it is definitely false."

Phew. That was a close one. We may all resume our (relatively) guilt-free eating now.

In which I die of an Acute Adorable-Snackage-on-a-Stick Attack

2009-04-06T13:59:00.004-04:00

In this edition of cute, squee-inducing food I want to munch on, I present you with Bakerella’s Easter Cake Pops.

There won’t be much commentary (just the gorgeous photos from Bakerella’s site), because I’m dead from cuteness, remember? Really, I just came back to make sure you see this. Yes, these cake pops are so important that I have risen from the dead to blog about them.

The sheep pops are my absolute favorite.

With the Easter Eggs coming in at a close second. The colorful sugar is killing me!

Candy corn ears! The Easter Bunnies are genius.

These bunny foo foo's have tic-tac ears and marshmallow tails.

And finally, the Spring Chickens!

I have convinced myself that, despite my lack of talent in decorating, my shaky, shaky hands and all-around bad coordination, I might try to make some of these. I’ll be sure to post pictures of the mess should I actually have a go at it.

If you want to try them as well, you can find the recipes and all of the candies and materials Bakerella used at the coordinating links. Happy Easter!

Jezebel, Donuts, Traveling: My Three Loves in One Post

2009-04-03T16:34:00.003-04:00

Sadie Stein, one of the editors over at Jezebel (my true love!), was featured on the travel-enthusiast site Jauntsetter last week. (Read the original article here.)

What does this have to do with food you ask? Well, Sadie wrote several guest posts, one of which was about eating on the road, and it’s worth checking out. In it, she writes about some of her favorite restaurants and food destinations, as well as online food resources—like Roadfood, which she calls “the ultimate source for time-warp dining.”

And…this is my favorite part:

“I’m a sucker for a good donut and will travel miles for one.”

Yes! A woman after my own heart.

Now, after daydreaming about donuts and traveling while trolling around the Jauntsetter site, I’m officially obsessed with taking a tropical vacation to Costa Rica this summer. It’s infinitely more likely that I’ll sit at home eating an entire box of soggy donuts from the A&P instead.

Yes, It’s Ladies’ Night!

2009-04-01T14:57:00.004-04:00

Oh, what a night.

(Ok, I’ll stop quoting Kool and the Gang, but I am going to post the video. Deal with it.)

Last Friday, I had Kristin and Liz over for dinner and a girls’ night. It was actually a big deal because even though we all technically live in the metro-area, it’s a pain to get to one another’s homes (an hour or two of public transportation x 2 = major pain-literally-in the bum). So, I promised them a delicious dinner if they could scrape up the extra train fare it takes to get to my place.

Appetizers are my favorite part of the meal, but I never get to make them, so I decided to make Artichoke and Tomato Pastry Boats for a pre-dinner treat. For the meal, I served Cheesy Rice and Peas (such a classy, classy name, that) alongside pork chops. I wanted to make a fruit topping for the pork chops, but I couldn’t decide between Pear Compote or Peach-Plum Salsa, so I made both. They turned out to be really good, although I think the Peach-Plum Salsa was a bigger hit since it has a surprising combination of the sweet fruit and spicy jalapenos. And I had a little help: Liz brought a yummy baguette to go with dinner, and Kristin brought cookies for dessert, which we broke into as appetizers…and dessert…and then again for breakfast the next morning.

So, everything went smoothly (except for a mishap with opening—or not opening—the wine bottle) and the food was delicious!

While going through the recipes, you may notice that I’ve figured up the approximate cost of making that food. I hope you like the new feature! I plan to keep doing it for everyday meals too, although my stack of grocery receipts is getting a little out of control. Amazingly, this dinner (even with my making two fruit toppings) only cost $15.94 to serve four people. And we had lots of leftovers too! Also, I didn't have time to take pictures of everything, but if you want a visual, just click the links to the original recipes!

Artichoke and Tomato Pastry Boats
Recipe adapted from Working Mother.

1 package of frozen phyllo shells, about 15 in one pack
4 baby artichoke hearts, drained and cut into quarters
2 oz fresh mozzarella, cut into 15 pieces
8 cherry tomatoes, halved
Sea salt and freshly ground pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place phyllo shells on baking sheet, not touching. Put a piece of artichoke, a piece of mozzarella and a tomato half in each shell. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Bake until cheese is melted, about 10 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Makes 15 pieces. Total cost: $3.01.

Pork with Pear Compote
and
Pork Chops with Peach-Plum Salsa

Both recipes from Family Circle. See the originals here and here.

Pear Compote:
¼ cup dried cranberries
1 pear, cored and diced
¼ cup chopped walnuts
Pinch ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon sugar

Peach-Plum Salsa (This made a ridiculous amount of salsa; you can safely cut this recipe in half and still have more than enough for four people, so keep that in mind!)
2 peaches, about ¾ pound
3 plums, about ¾ pound
½ cup chopped red onion
2 medium jalapenos, seeded and chopped
½ cup cilantro, chopped
2 Tablespoons lime juice
1 Tablespoon olive oil
¼ teaspoon salt

Pork Chops:
4 pork chops (boneless, rib, thin-cut, however you like ‘em!)
Sea salt and Pepper to taste
2 Tablespoons butter

Make the Peach-Plum Salsa first; it needs to refrigerate for at least one hour before eating. Pit peaches and plums and finely chop. Place in a medium size bowl. Add red onion, jalapenos, cilantro, lime juice, olive oil and salt. Stir to combine. Cover and refrigerate.

For Pear Compote, soak cranberries in hot water for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, combine pear, walnuts and cinnamon in a small bowl. Drain cranberries and add to bowl. After you finish cooking the pork chops, then come back to the compote and add the mixture to the skillet you used for the pork chops. Add sugar now, and cook for 1 minute. Remove from skillet and serve with the pork chops.

For the pork chops, melt butter (or vegetable oil) in a large skillet over medium heat. Season one side of the pork pieces with sea salt and pepper, and place the seasoned side down on hot skillet. Season the other side with pepper and salt. Cook time depends on the thickness of the meat; when you can see that the pork is cooked halfway through, flip over the meat and cook for several more minutes. When the pork is cooked all the way through, serve with the pear compote or the peach-plum salsa.

Serves 4. Cost: Pear Compote, $1.56; Peach-Plum Salsa, $5.85; Four Boneless Pork Chops, $2.89.

Cheesy Rice and Peas
Adapted from First for Women.

2 Tablespoons olive oil
1 Tablespoon butter
1 onion, peeled and chopped
2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
1½ cups rice
2 cans (14.5 oz each) low-sodium chicken broth
1 cup frozen peas
½ cup grated Parmesan cheese

In skillet over medium heat, cook olive oil and butter for 30 seconds. Add onions and garlic; cook 2 minutes. Add rice, stir to coat. Increase heat to high and add broth. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and cover. Let simmer 15 minutes, or until rice is tender. Stir in peas and Parmesan cheese. Cook 2 minutes or until heated through.

Makes 6 servings. Total cost: $2.63

Total dinner cost for four people: $15.94

Update: My Recipe Book

2009-03-29T13:16:00.002-04:00

Back when I first started this blog, I wrote about my relentless recipe collecting and a little thing I like to call My Book (pronounced Mah BOOOk; this is important, so get it right!). Last week I realized that I had been neglecting my recipe cataloguing—the stack of recipes ripped from magazines and printed from the internet started to take over a section of the kitchen counter—so I got out my tape and scissors and got to work.

My Book has now grown into three: the original is now for main courses and sides; one notebook holds recipes of appetizers, soups and salads; another is for desserts and sweets alone. I have a peculiar feeling of accomplishment that my recipe collection is growing so rapidly. I know that this is probably not something to be proud of. Most likely this is an early warning sign that I will one day end up with some compulsive hoarding illness, surrounded my many cats and volumes of recipes.

And yet, I am proud. I just hope I don’t end up on Intervention or some surreal BBC documentary.

Flip-Flop with Meatballs

2009-03-25T12:01:00.005-04:00

Something about that title is setting off a signal on my inappropriate radar, but I like it nonetheless.

ANYwho. Let me explain what it really means, because it’s not as dirty as it sounds. You see, my mother loves the type of recipe that lets you prepare several meals at once, or get a head-start for another meal later in the week. I'm sure it’s a favorite concept of most busy parents and workaholics around the country, because it just makes life easier. I am neither a workaholic (yet!) nor a parent (let’s give it 10 years or so), but I’m a huge fan of making my life easier. Le sigh.

I’ve decided to dub these meals flip-flop recipes, because:

A. I’m silly.
B. I think everything is 10 times better with a catchy name.
C. Alliteration rocks.

So, the first flip-flop recipes I’ve come up with are based on meatballs! Begin by making the first recipe for the meatballs. It’s quick and easy to follow, so you can do this on a busy weeknight. Cook half of the meatballs for classic spaghetti and meatballs, and save and freeze the other half to make the second recipe (also weeknight-friendly) later that week or the next!

Reduced-Fat Meatballs

Recipe from Working Mother magazine

1 slice of bread, torn into very small pieces
1/3 cup low-fat milk
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 Tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
3 Tablespoons finely grated Parmesan
½ teaspoon salt
Freshly ground pepper to taste
1 pound ground lean beef or dark meat turkey
2 cups tomato sauce
½ pound pasta
Mushrooms or other vegetables optional

Place bread, milk, egg, onion, parsley, Parmesan, salt and pepper in a bowl, and let sit 10 minutes or until the milk is soaked into the bread. Stir gently. Add ground meat and mix well with clean hands, but do not squeeze. Form about 40 one-inch meatballs. Set half to the side, and place the other half in a medium-large saucepan with the tomato sauce. Cover and simmer on low heat 25 minutes, shaking gently every 7 minutes to rotate the meatballs. Do not stir or you’ll end up with meat sauce. Add any mushrooms or vegetables after about 15 minutes and let cook until soft. As your meatballs cook, bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add pasta and cook according to directions. While you're waiting on your pasta and meatballs to finish, place the other 20 meatballs in a freezer-safe container, spacing them about 1 inch apart. Transfer to freezer. When meatballs are frozen solid, about 1½ hours, cover container or transfer them to a plastic freezer bag for easier storage. Now go back to your pasta. Drain. Serve meatball sauce over pasta, with Parmesan sprinkled on the top. Add a salad or vegetable on the side for a complete meal!

Makes about 40 meatballs including frozen ones. The 20 meatballs you cook serves 4-6.

Hearty Meatball Spinach Soup

I have a strong suspicion this recipe came from the back of a cracker box. I can’t remember, but it’s really good despite its humble beginnings (and inferior looks)!

20 pre-made meatballs, no need to thaw
Vegetable oil
¾ cup onion
2 cloves garlic
2 cans (14 oz each) reduced sodium beef broth
1 can (14.5 oz) stewed tomatoes, undrained
1 package (10 oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed, well drained
2 teaspoons dried oregano
Saltine crackers, optional

Heat oil in large saucepan over medium heat; then stir in onion and garlic and cook for 3 to 5 minutes or until onion is translucent and tender. Spread meatballs around the pan, and let cook for about 5 minutes, then carefully turn meatballs and let the other side cook for an additional 5 minutes. Add broth, tomatoes with their liquid, spinach and oregano; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and cover. Simmer for about 20 minutes or until meatballs are cooked through. Serve with saltine crackers.

Makes about 4-5 large servings.

Feel free to share your own flip-flop recipes in the comments! I’m always looking for new ones to try!

ZOMG!!1! Girl Scout Cookies!

2009-03-17T18:19:00.004-04:00

That was my exact reaction this Saturday when I saw a group of Girl Scouts dressed in their tacky little Brownie vests selling cookies. While my mature boyfriend was getting his taxes done at one of those little tax-people booths, I was reverting back to childhood and panting over the thought of Thin Mints--my all-time favorite.

Needless to say, I bought four boxes.

(Well, Jon bought me four boxes, because I never have any cash.)

But it was a Girl Scout Cookie miracle, because I thought I wouldn’t get any this year. My mom works in an elementary school, so she usually has a ton of students to buy from, which therefore secures my annual box. But this year—this anomaly of a year—no one asked my mother to buy any cookies. I didn’t think I would find any on my own. But I did!

I feel like an adult now that I’ve bought my own cookies. It wasn’t that long ago that my sister and I were wearing our own tacky green sashes covered in patches, delivering cookies in our little red wagon to the neighbors. We were fanatical about our cookie selling, and ended up peddling hundreds of boxes every year. One year, we sold about 600 between the two of us. Look, if you don’t believe me, check out this picture of us organizing our stock in our living room.

Clearly my Girl Scout Cookie love will never die.

Craft and Cake: my heart goes thump.

2009-03-09T19:11:00.010-04:00

Unfortunately, the first time I heard about Craft magazine was in an article about its last print issue. As I was wandering around the magazine section of a bookstore last month, I decided to pick up the last issue. It had Amy Sedaris on the cover and I’m a sucker for a Sedaris, so…

The issue takes on parties—what cake to bake, what to stock in your bar and how to put together invitations, decorations and a groovy playlist. I was pleased to find an excerpt from Amy’s book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, because she’s not a typical party host or homemaker. What I mean is, her cakes turn out looking more like mine than say, Betty Crocker’s, and for this, I love her.

Of course, I would be ecstatic if I could decorate a perfect, polished cake, but I know if I make this cake I’ll have a guaranteed conversation-starter. And more time to actually enjoy my party. So, here’s the cake recipe (with commentary from Amy) from the magazine and a photo of the finished mess.

1. Make an angel food cake from a box.
Take your 10” angel food cake and place it on a plate.
This is the only boxed cake I ever make, because to me it tastes just like a homemade one and you don’t have to deal with egg whites. Egg whites intimidate me (for some people it’s phyllo), but either way, the best part of making an angel food cake is that you get to hang it upside down on a wine bottle for an hour, and you can still do that with a boxed angel food cake.

2. Slice the top.
Slice the entire top from the cake, about 1½“ down. Lift off the top and put it somewhere else.

3. Make a tunnel.
Make a tunnel and scoop out the angel food cake.
Now there is a wall; it will look similar to a Jell-O ring mold. Take the angel food cake that you scooped out and put it on another plate.

4. Fill the tunnel.
Completely fill the cavity with either the chilled whipped filling (see recipe below) or with an ice cream of your choice.

5. Replace the top.
Put the top of the cake back on.

6. Fill the top hole.
I like to use the cake left over from the tunnel and stuff it in the center hole.

7. Cover the Cake.
Completely Slather the sides and top with whipped cream.

*Tip: You can optionally include 1/2 c of toasted almonds in the cake cavity and then sprinkle the outside with 1/3c of shaved toasted almonds.

8. Make a decorating tool.
Scoop frosting into a plastic bag, and twist the top tight. Cut the tip off the plastic bag.

9. Decorate the cake.
Squeeze the bag carefully so the frosting comes out, and decorate the top of your cake how you like.
Repeat steps 8 and 9 with different colors of frosting for an elegant, layered look.

10. Enjoy!
Cut the cake and scoop it onto a plate.

Blogger is being dumb

2009-03-03T21:31:00.006-05:00

For some reason my posts aren't showing up when I visit my blog using Internet Explorer, but I have no problem viewing them with a Firefox browser. So, if you think everything looks a little wonky, that's because...it is.

Since I've been using Firefox for the last couple of months, I wasn't aware of the problem until yesterday. But when I started investigating, I found that a lot of Blogspot-hosted blogs have been losing posts since about two weeks ago. They're mysteriously disappearing. I think this is a case for Nancy Drew.

Anywho, I hope you guys can use Firefox to read my blog until I figure out how to fix this! You can download it for free here.

Update (March 4): I think I was able to fix everything (yay!), so you should be able to see all of my recent posts ("A Cautionary Tale," "Fortune Cookie Time!" and "Spring Has NOT Sprung") on Internet Explorer now. Please let me know if you start seeing blank posts with only a title again. Thanks!!

A Cautionary Tale

2009-03-02T18:43:00.005-05:00

If you happen to be an internet addict like me, then you’ve probably already heard about the newest hit blog making rounds on the internet (in the last week I’ve seen stories in at least five different publications and websites).

This is why you’re fat showcases pictures of disgusting, yet glorious (to some) concoctions that could clog the healthiest of arteries and add instantaneous pounds the thinnest backside. I must admit…I kind of love it, and I kind of hate it.

For instance, my sweet tooth and inner 8-year-old are telling me that the candy pizza is the stuff of dreams.

And my love of donuts in well documented, so I obviously wouldn’t turn away this “Behemoth Glazed Donut.”

But then I can’t visit the site without finding something that makes me gag. Like this:

A giant burger sandwiched between two bacon pizzas. (FYI, bacon and corn dogs/hot dogs and burgers are featured frequently on the blog. Hmmm…I wonder why?)

And I’m not sure why anyone would want to defile a delicious Krispy Kreme donut like this:

Yes, that’s a Sloppy Joe on a Krispy Kreme. For shame!

So, if you’re a glutton (heh.) for guilt and heart-attack inducing food, then perhaps this site is for you. But if you decide to try any of these fine dishes at home, please don’t tell me about it. I don’t think I could handle it.

Fortune Cookie Time!

2009-03-02T17:50:00.002-05:00

I haven’t posted a fortune in a while, so I thought today should be the day. So here you are—a little wisdom from the bowels of our favorite cardboard cracker cookie!

“The best way to navigate through life is to give up all of our controls.”

While you’re pondering that, let me just say that I’ve given up control in my kitchen for the evening. I’m letting the slow cooker do all the work. And I concur with the fortune; this might just be the best way to navigate through dinner, if not life in general.

Spring Has NOT Sprung

2009-02-26T18:16:00.004-05:00

I walked outside today and a strange thing happened—I didn’t feel like the wind was going to rip right through me and freeze my insides.

This, I believe, is a good thing. Perhaps some people like frozen insides; I prefer mine slathered in sunblock with a hint of a tan. But it’s also a little sad, because in a few days February will be over. March will march on in and take over, leading us out of our winter caves towards spring. More importantly, chili—winter’s official food—will take a backseat to more summer-friendly fare. Everyone will start shedding their chili cravings like they shed their cable-knit sweaters.

So, I suggest that we all take advantage of these last few February days (and maybe some of the March days too?), and get our chili on.

The following recipe I found on a fellow food blogger’s site, after having some serious cravings for a green chili, or Chili Verde, I tried while visiting my dad in Colorado. The pork and tomatillo base is a great change from the traditional beef and tomato, but you still get that familiar chili torso warming.

Also: The grocery store near my apartment in New York has a great selection of produce and ethnic foods, so I was able to find the chiles and tomatillos pretty easily. But every store is different, so you may have to go to a Mexican/Spanish foods store to find some things. However, when I was in Arkansas, I checked at the Kroger in Hot Springs, and they had a better selection of tomatillos and chiles than my store ever has. I was quite surprised…So, like I said, it really just depends.

Chili Verde
Adapted from Meathenge

When to cook: on a weekend or a leisurely day, when you’re not rushing to get dinner on the table.

1½-2 lbs pork shoulder, cut into 1-inch cubes

2 poblano chiles, charred, seeded and chopped

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped

2-3 lbs fresh tomatillos, husks removed

1-2 cans of chicken broth

1 large white onion, chopped

6 large cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon sea salt

Ground black pepper, to taste

1 teaspoon cumin

Cilantro

Monterey Jack Cheese or Goat Cheese (both taste fabulous with this)

Tortillas

The original recipe suggests that you char the skins of the poblano peppers for maximum flavor potential. I suggest you do this, even though I couldn’t. The only open flame I could find was by lighting a candle, and that wasn’t very efficient. After you char the peppers, set in a paper or cloth sack for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, de-husk the tomatillos and wash. Pat dry and put in a roaster pan. Broil in oven until a bit blackened. Check every few minutes so you don’t burn them completely. Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a large skillet. Cube up pork shoulder into approximately 1-inch cubes, and brown in pan. Add the minced garlic towards the end of the meat’s cooking cycle, and set aside when finished. Then sauté the chopped onions and put meat back in skillet. Turn heat to low setting. When the tomatillos are blackened and collapsed (they should be fairly squishy and juices should be running out of them), put them in a food processor or blender and chop up a little; then add to meat. At this point the pork, onions, tomatillos and juice from roasting pan should all be in the skillet, simmering on a very low heat. If you charred the poblanos, remove from bag and use a butter knife to scrape off the charred skin. Then chop up the chiles and jalapeno (be sure to remove the seeds), and throw them in the skillet. Add in the cumin, salt and pepper. Then add broth. Depending on how long you’re going to simmer the chili, you may or may not need to use both cans of broth. If you only want to simmer for about an hour, then don’t use two cans, but if you plan on letting it sit for a while, add both. Cover with a lid and let simmer for one or two hours. Serve with chopped fresh cilantro and cheese on top and with a warm tortilla on the side.

Peace Offering

2009-02-22T00:27:00.006-05:00

I’ve been a neglectful blogger, I know!

(In my defense, it has been a crazy week.)

Anywho, I have a peace offering for my neglect—yummy, yummy Oreo-filled truffles. Last week, my baking buddy, Lindsey, invited me to come over and help her make these little Oreo chocolates as a Valentine’s surprise for her boyfriend. I couldn’t refuse.

Be warned though, these truffles are absolutely addictive. And the following recipe makes a lot of them…and after you’ve downed all 30 while watching an America’s Next Top Model marathon on VH1 (Hey, it happens!), don't say I didn't give you fair warning.

Oreo Truffles

Recipe adapted from RecipeZaar, although credit goes to my Aunt Carolyn, who introduced me to the Oreo Truffle at our family Christmas party this year.

1 package regular size Oreo cookies, very crushed
1 8 oz package cream cheese, softened
1 package white almond bark (we used regular white chocolate chips, since we only used the white chocolate for drizzling)
1 or 2 packages chocolate almond bark (we used both semi-sweet and German chocolate baking chocolate bars instead)
Sprinkles!

Using a blender or hand-held mixer, mix Oreos and cream cheese together. This might take a while if you’re using a hand-held mixer. Keep blending until there are no Oreo chunks and you have a smooth consistency. Roll into Walnut size balls and place on a cookie sheet. Chill in the fridge for an hour, or sit in the freezer for about 10 minutes if you’re in a hurry. Melt chocolate according to chocolate instructions. Stick a toothpick into an Oreo ball and dip it in the melted chocolate. Place on sheet of wax paper. You can dip all balls into the regular chocolate or you can dip half in chocolate and half in white chocolate. (We chose to dip all in regular chocolate and drizzle with white chocolate.) After all are dipped, drizzle with remaining chocolate and white chocolate. If you want to decorate with sprinkles, be sure to do it before the chocolate dries and hardens. Devour.

Makes approximately 30-35 candies.

And just because these things turned out so cute and Lindsey took such good pictures, here are some more images to enjoy! P.S. Those giant heart sprinkles were L's idea and they really just made the truffles that much more awesome!

A few words about Valentine’s Day, because obviously, I’m an expert on this crap.

2009-02-11T18:37:00.002-05:00

I’m a sucker for Valentine’s Day. I know it’s annoying and completely commercialized, but…I do love chocolate truffles and conversation hearts, so what can I do?

My approach to Valentine’s Day has always been to be cheesy and go all out. The trick is to not take yourself too seriously. For example, for our first Valentine’s Day together, I convinced Jon that we should write each other corny, ridiculous poems. We didn’t buy any gifts, we just dusted off our dormant “Roses are red” skills. And the poems were funny, heartfelt and sweet. To me, that’s the point of the day.

That, and candy.

We took care of the candy part last year. For some reason, we were sharing a brainwave and bought the same thing for one another—a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

With all the chocolate taken out.

In place of the chocolate we both bought the other’s favorite candies and filled the spaces. Mine was full of Sour Patch Kids, Snowcaps and bite-size Twizzlers, and his was packed with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Circus Peanuts. I thought it was perfect—thoughtful, personalized and tasty.

Because ladies and gents, if there’s anything you can learn from Valentine’s Day, learn this: the way to about 99 percent of the population’s collective heart is through food.

(Or, a gift certificate for a pedicure and full-body massage. Ahem. Just sayin’.)

What you might come home to if you’re dating the Hamburgler.

2009-02-10T17:52:00.003-05:00

I saw this hamburger bed on Jezebel last week, and I just had to share it with my fellow foodies! If I were still somewhere between the ages of 5 and 15, I would probably be begging my mother for this. (Besides, she still owes me for giving away our PeeWee’s Playhouse chair-Chairy-at a garage sale.) Although, considering I never got one of those race car beds or a FAIRY PRINCESS CASTLE BED, I’m assuming that my rational mother would also deny me the luxury of sleeping nestled between a sesame seed bun and a slice of American cheese, my head supported by a succulent pickle.

P.S. I may or may not be hyperventilating over the castle beds in that link. The hand-painted ones, specifically. Le sigh.

T.V. Dinners, and Not the Kind You Microwave

2009-02-09T17:25:00.002-05:00

I was trolling around on the internet the other day, as I tend to do about 90 percent of the time and I found a fun article on Delish.com. It’s slideshow of some of the most popular restaurants, diners and bars ever on prime time. Cheers, Friends’ Central Perk, Monk’s Diner on Seinfeld and Moe’s Tavern from The Simpsons were all featured. A good list, sure, but I felt like I could add to it since my viewing habits don’t include any of those shows. Here’s what I came up with (with help from Lucy and Liz!):

Luke’s Diner from Gilmore Girls. There is still a gaping hole in my heart from the cancellation of that show. If Stars Hollow actually existed, I would take a road trip and get some of Luke’s infamous coffee. And in true GG style, I might just order everything else on the menu to go and veg out during an obscure movie marathon. Seriously, Lorelai and Rory could EAT.

The Hub from That 70’s Show. Jon and I are on a That 70s Show kick. We’re Netflixing them all, currently on Season 2 out of…oh…8. Anyway, hanging out at The Hub and witnessing some crazy Hyde and Fez hijinks would be fun. Yes, yes.

The Max from Saved By the Bell. Kirby and I used to watch these reruns every day after we got home from school. Oddly enough, I don’t remember much about the show, except the entire theme song. And that they always hung out at the really awesome diner after school. Oh, and that feisty Lisa Turtle was SO much cooler than Kelly Kapowski.

Honker Burger from Doug. When I was a kid Nickelodeon had some of the best (and weirdest) cartoons (Ren and Stimpy? CatDog? The Angry Beavers? ROCKO’S MODERN LIFE???? Weird stuff). In this one, sixth grader Doug Funnie and his friends Patti Mayonnaise and Skeeter Valentine hung out at the Honker Burger. Plus, there are all kinds of random food references in the show. Doug’s dog is named Porkchop and his favorite band is The Beets, famous for their hit song, “Killer Tofu.” And who can forget Quailman?

And that’s all I/we could think of. Feel free to add your favorite T.V. restaurants, diners or bars in the comments!

Restoring My Faith in…Everything

2009-02-03T18:05:00.004-05:00

There is a thing in this world that is good and holy.

And chicken-y and creamy and pie crusty.

It is all of these things and it is called…

CHICKEN POT PIE.

[must be said with a booming, God-like voice for full effect]

Liz came over a few weeks ago for a sleepover! And even though I’m pretty sure she was just using me for my central heating and my cat, I love her company so much that I choose to ignore those things. So, of course we cooked— we made a DELICIOUS chicken pot pie. I would make this once a week if I wasn’t so curious about trying new recipes. It is seriously that good.

Chicken Pot Pie

Recipe adapted from AllRecipes.com

Allow for about an hour to make this, especially if you’re a slow chopper like me

1 lb skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cubed
1 cup sliced carrots
1 cup frozen green peas
½ cup sliced celery
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon black pepper
1¾ cups chicken broth (you can either buy this or use leftover water from boiling the chicken. You might add a bouillon cube while the water is boiling to give it more flavor.)
2/3 cup milk
2 (9 inch) unbaked pie crusts

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a saucepan, combine chicken, carrots, peas and celery. Add water to cover and boil for 15 minutes. Remove from heat, drain and set aside. In the saucepan over medium heat, cook onions in butter until soft and translucent. Stir in flour, salt and pepper. Slowly stir in chicken broth and milk. Simmer over medium-low heat and stir often until mixture thickens. Remove from heat and set aside. Place the chicken mixture in bottom pie crust. Slowly pour hot liquid mixture over. If you’re like me, you’ve probably run out of room and there’s nowhere to pour the mixture by now. It will seep down slowly, but you might have to find (or make) some holes in the chicken mixture and spoon it in. When you’ve forced in as much liquid mixture as possible, cover with top crust, seal edges and cut away excess dough. Make several small slits in the top to allow steam to escape. Bake in the preheated oven for 30-35 minutes, or until pastry is golden brown and filling is bubbly. Cool for ten minutes before serving.

A Bloody Battle

2009-02-02T17:43:00.006-05:00

Walking into the kitchen is like walking into a cage match for me. I have no doubt that I will come out battered (cake battered or otherwise), bruised, diced and fried.

I started fighting back last week. I bought a meat tenderizer. Yes, my dear little meat hammer. And I must report that I walked away from cooking that meal with zero injuries (which was nice since I was cooking for guests and didn’t want to resort to busting out the Hello Kitty Band-Aids). I didn’t even whack my thumb with the meat hammer, like some scene out of a wacky-go-lucky sitcom or an episode of the Three Stooges.

So here’s my theory. You’ve got to show the dinner who is boss. Maintaining authority at all times is the key. And sometimes taking a meat mallet to the chicken breasts does the trick. (Put plastic wrap over the chicken first, or else you’ll get splattered. Not technically an injury, but still not fun.)

As a side-note, sometimes retaliations happen. For example, you go into the kitchen unprepared for the battle of cooking dinner. You merely want to core an apple. So, you get out your nifty little apple corer—the kind that cuts the apple into slices at the same time it cuts out the core—and prepare your apple snack. And while you’re trying quite unsuccessfully to pry the leftover core from your nifty apple corer, you slice your finger. You may just find yourself looking at the meat hammer in the sink and thinking to yourself, “Karma.”

Asparagus Pee-ple

2009-01-28T16:42:00.005-05:00

My sister, Kirby, bought me the Kawaii Not book of comics last year (which I lurve, seester), but I never looked up the website until a couple of weeks ago.

And I found this...

which I find appropriate to post now because I had asparagus on Monday, and well... you know.

And for those of you who don't think your pee smells after you eat asparagus, it does, you just can't smell it. No seriously, read this if you don't believe me.

(Click picture for a larger version.)

No Fart Jokes, Please.

2009-01-27T18:43:00.003-05:00

It’s not that I don’t find bodily functions funny. I’m as immature as the next 22-year-old (maybe more so). But I can’t take anyone making fun of beans. They are dear to me. I don’t know how else to say it except,

I freaking LOVE beans.

So that fact, coupled with my Arkansan-upbringing should make it a no-brainer that I am a huge fan of red beans and rice. In general, Cajun cooking is right up my alley, but I’m quite picky. Seafood is not an option, and quite a few Cajun staples revolve around fishy flavors. So as a kid, while everyone else chowed down on Jambalaya and fried catfish, I always migrated towards a hearty helping of the red beans and rice.

The following recipe is one of my favorites so far. And, the magazine it came from listed it as only costing approximately $3.00 per serving, which my budget very much appreciates at the moment.

Red Beans and Rice

Originally appeared as a slow cooker recipe in Family Circle.

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 small green pepper, finely chopped
1 rib celery, thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1½ teaspoons Cajun seasoning
½ teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon dried thyme
½ pound dried red kidney beans
1 large chicken bouillon cube
3 cups water
½ pound light kielbasa, cut into ¼ inch half moons
¼ teaspoon black pepper
3 cups cooked white rice

Rinse beans and pick over. Then bring to a boil in 3-4 cups of water. Boil 2 minutes, then take off stove and let sit for one hour with lid on. (If the instructions on the package of your dried beans differ, follow those steps here.) When beans have sat for an hour, put back on stove and simmer in large pot while you follow the next steps. Meanwhile, heat oil in a medium-size skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, green pepper and celery. Cook, stirring, for 7 minutes. Add garlic; cook 1 minute. Then scrape contents of skillet into pot to cook with the beans. Also add Cajun seasoning, oregano, thyme, bouillon cube and some water, if it needs it. Then allow the mixture to keep simmering (covered, with lid tilted to let out steam) for 1½ to 2 hours. When beans are tender, stir in kielbasa and black pepper. Cook until heated through. Serve over rice.

Makes 6 servings.

Per Serving: 344 calories; 8 g fat (2 g sat.); 8 g protein; 48 g carbohydrate; 11 g fiber; 890 mg sodium; 24 mg cholesterol.

Still Broke, Not as Bored, More Cupcakes

2009-01-27T17:58:00.004-05:00

I still don’t have a job. Obviously you would know if I did, because I would be singing about it every waking moment, to everyone and everything. Just believe me when I say that you would know.

But, I have managed to trick some people into letting me write for them.

And now I’m hoping I can trick you into reading it!

It’s a bit long, but if you stick with it you get a surprise at the end. A special, special cupcake-filled surprise. (Really, it’s just an interview with the owners of Crumbs Bakeshop, which is…uuummmm…awesome!)

So either go here or here to check it out. It’s the same story, just two different newspapers/websites.

Could this be? More cupcakes?

2009-01-22T18:54:00.006-05:00

So either Blogger is being a jerk, or I just don't know how to use it. (Considering my computer skills, I'm going to guess it's something I'm doing wrong.) Either way, the photos looked strange and wouldn't stay in place when I uploaded them all into one post. Sooo....here are some more Martha Stewart cupcakes. Enjoy!

Brownie Hearts on Chocolate Brownies with Basic Buttercream and Handwritten Valentines on One-Bowl Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Glaze. Ah, the obligatory Valentine’s Day spread. Props for including a cupcake for brownie fans!

Strawberry with Strawberry Buttercream. This was included in the Valentine layout as well, and it looks DELICIOUS. Valentine’s Day, my birthday, Groundhog Day, whatever. I’ll take a dozen, please.

Last, but certainly not least—the cutesy cupcakes. That hedgehog on the lower left-hand corner kills me. Look at his little almond prickles! And the black section of the sunflower cupcake is actually chocolate-covered sunflower seeds. I know someone who would probably nibble those off quite gleefully.

I would nibble on any of these gleefully.

(As I said before, I wasn't able to find online recipes for all of these. Click on the highlighted ones to be directed to the proper recipe on the Martha Stewart site.)

All you need is...cupcake

2009-01-21T17:35:00.034-05:00

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the February issue of Martha Stewart Living gives us what we need to spend that day (and every other day) happily ever after—cupcakes. And since we all know these would turn out disastrous in my incapable hands, I’m giving them to you in pure, Martha-perfected form. You may now commence with the ogling and drooling.

Pistachio and Raspberry Cupcake. The nut and fruit combo of this cupcake make it seem more like a muffin to me, but I like the originality. It’s certainly different than your average sprinkle and frosting variety.

Peanut Butter with Peanut Butter Frosting and Jelly. I’m not a fan of peanuts in general, especially when they’re smooshed into a paste, but this is too darn cute. That jelly pocket is genius.

Chocolate Chip with Chocolate Chip Frosting and Banana with Caramel Buttercream. These are the two that I am most likely to make. And eat.

(I wasn’t able to find recipes online for every cupcake pictured. Ones that do have recipes are highlighted. Click the links for recipes from MarthaStewart.com)

Resolutions—like wishes—only you have to work to make them come true!

2009-01-20T13:48:00.007-05:00

It’s January 20th and I still haven’t come up with any New Year’s resolutions. Pathetic, I know. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve had any resolutions in about four or five years. I think my last one was in 2004 in my senior year of high school, right after I got early acceptance into NYU. It was something along the lines of “Don’t flunk out of college.”

While I could probably think of a million resolutions I don’t care about or ever intend to keep (dieting? Umm, yeah. Right. Saving money for [insert something special here]? Yes…with my nonexistent income. You get the picture.), I’ll spare you and share something that floated into my email inbox a few weeks ago. I receive daily email newsletters from Ideal Bite, a website that dispenses easily digested tips on how to slowly green your lifestyle through small steps. Ideal Bite calls its tips, “bite-sized ideas for light green living.”

During IB’s “Resolution Week,” the emails focused on eco-friendly New Year’s resolutions, and one resolution was something even I can add to my “list”—eating a vegetarian meal at least once a week. According to IB, “Livestock accounts for 18% of the world's greenhouse gas emissions and 8% of water use - and a meatless diet is 50% more effective at cutting CO2 than switching from a standard car to a hybrid.”

So, even though I’ve never been able to cut meat out of my diet completely—although I was a chicken-etarian for several years—eating a vegetarian meal once or twice a week is a simple compromise. Not only does it save me some money on groceries, I can feel a tad bit better about my carbon footprint. I’ve already started incorporating the meals into my weekly lineup. This week I have several meat-free meals planned. Don’t tell Jon, though. He really loves meat, especially the red kind.

Bitty, A Self-Reliant Form of Nourishment

2009-01-14T17:44:00.007-05:00

It’s well past time to post another awesomely disgusting comic from Liz! And this time, the subject is close (literally, as well as figuratively) to my heart…and my gag reflex. Although, I must admit I laughed out loud for several reasons. See for yourself!

Have a Holly, Jolly Stuff Your Face Fest

2009-01-14T16:52:00.009-05:00

Christmas is long gone, but I still have to post recipes for all the delicious treats I made, because:
1) I feel like bragging.
2) I really wish the cookies and fudge were still around.
3) You can make this stuff any time of year.

So, I did a ton of baking, as the long list of recipes show. And I probably ate a majority of what I made, with the exception of the biscottis (those I made for my mother’s stocking, and she said they taste wonderful with the coffee from her new coffee maker. Testimonials, I have them.).

I made Dish Pan Cookies and Fudge (FUDGE!!!), with Jon’s grandparents one morning. They were nice enough to let me help them, even though I completely botched an egg-custard pie. No seriously, it cooked for like 4 hours and never got past the runny stage. Not good. Luckily, I did not burn the fudge. I might have cried if I had. And no one wants to see that.

No one.

As for the ‘Sploding Snowball cookies, since everyone calls them different things—snowballs, wedding cookies, cocoon cookies, etc.—I decided to name them for their exploding effect. Touch one too hard—explosion of flour and powdered sugar all over the floor. Don’t nibble on one delicately enough—explosion in your face. And yet, they taste so good if you can hold onto one long enough to get a taste.

Dish Pan Cookies
From Bill and Shirley, my BF’s awesome grandparents

4 eggs
2 cups oil
2 cups brown sugar
2 cups granulated sugar
2 Tbsp. vanilla
1 Tsp. salt
2 Tsp. baking soda
4 cups all-purpose flour
1½ cups uncooked oats
4 cups cornflakes

Cream eggs, oil, brown sugar, granulated sugar and vanilla together. Sift flour, soda and salt. Add to mixture. Fold in oats and cornflakes. Drop teaspoons of dough onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 7-8 minutes at 350 degrees.

Makes: A LOT. You’ll be eating these for weeks, which isn’t a bad thing, I promise.

Chocolate Fudge
From Bill Jones, AKA Jon’s Pappaw

¾ cup (1½ stick) margarine
3 cups sugar
2/3 cup evaporated milk
1 package (12 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 jar (7 oz) marshmallow crème
1 cup chopped nuts
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix margarine, sugar and milk in a heavy 2½ to 3 qt sauce pan. Bring to a full boil, stirring constantly. Continue boiling for 5 minutes over medium heat or until candy thermometer reaches 234 degrees. Stir constantly to prevent scorching. (This is an important step! Stir the entire time and have someone help if your arm gets tired. Bill was my stirring partner there in the end.)Remove from heat and gradually stir in chips until melted. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Pour into greased 9 inch square or 13X9 inch baking pan. Cool at room temperature. Cut into squares.

Makes 3 pounds.

‘Sploding Snowballs
From Lori Sander, my mom’s BFF-izzle

2 sticks margarine, creamed
2½ cups sifted flour
2 Tbsp. powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups chopped nuts

Add all ingredients together. Mix well. Roll dough into small ball shapes and place on a cookie sheet. Bake at 325 degrees until light brown. (This part is a little bit trial and error, but keep a close eye on them and take them out if they start to develop cracks.) Cool slightly, then roll in powdered sugar.

Cherry-Pistachio Biscotti
From the November 2008 Family Circle

2¼ cups all-purpose flour
1½ teaspoons baking powder
Pinch of salt
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
½ cup light-brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup dried cherries, chopped
½ cup pistachios, chopped
3 ounces milk chocolate, melted

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Mix flour, baking powder and salt in a bowl. Beat butter, sugar in second bowl until creamy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. (Definitely do it one at a time. I added both eggs together and the dough was a nasty, lumpy mess until I busted out the electric mixer.) Add vanilla. Stir in flour mixture. Add cherries and nuts. Gather dough in a ball; divide in 2 halves. With floured hands, roll dough into two 12-inch logs. Place on a large ungreased baking sheet. Flatten logs slightly so each is 2 to 3 inches wide. Bake at 375 degrees for 23 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove to rack to cool. Lower oven temperature to 325 degrees. Cut loaves into ¾-inch-thick slices (about 16 per log). Place, cut-side-down, on sheet. Bake 10 minutes. Turn over; bake an additional 10 minutes. Cool on rack. Dip one end in melted chocolate; let dry on waxed paper.

Makes about 2½ dozen
Per cookie: 95 calories; 4 g fat (2 g sat.); 13 g carbs.

Make Marshmallows, Not War

2009-01-09T12:36:00.013-05:00

Behold the Holiday 2008 edition of the SkyMall catalogue. Luckily, I had already finished most of my gift shopping before Jon and I headed back to Arkansas for the holidays. So, I didn’t have to resort to picking out ridiculous gifts from the free catalogues found in the seat pockets on the plane. If you’ve ever been bored enough to browse said catalogue, you know the drill. It usually has interesting, overpriced and completely unnecessary gadgets and gizmos that your dad would probably love as a gift (sorry, dads, but it’s true; you have a lot of unused gizmos, just like I have a lot of unworn shoes).

So I couldn’t resist picking out a few of my favorite unnecessary, overpriced items. Here are my four top picks that no kitchen is complete without!

The Marshmallow Shooter. For those times when you need to shoot the marshmallows into your hot chocolate from 30 feet away. And as the description boasts, “unlike other marshmallow blasters—it comes with an LED sight that projects a safe beam of red light to help locate a target for accuracy.” So you can hit even the smallest of mug openings! Obviously, this is a bargain at just $24.95.

The Marshmallow Bazooka. Unlike the marshmallow shooter, this bazooka is made for war not hot chocolate. It shoots jumbo marshmallows up to 40 feet, obviously for when you want to pound your enemies with edible treats. Because, who wouldn’t want to lay some sugar on the opposition? (On a side note, wtf? Does SkyMall really love shooting marshmallows at people, or is this some weird trend I have yet to catch onto?)

Italian-Style Pizza Oven. In theory this is like a fondue set; you and your friends sit around and have fun making your food together and creating mini pizzas! And yes, while it is adorable, it’s also $129, and it’s one of those things that you’ll use exactly once and then it will sit in a closet for five years until you finally decide to throw it out in the garage sale. So get a fondue set instead for, like 20 bucks.

The Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker. Looking at this really skeeves me out. Just imagine the moment when everything pops up. Ding! Then again, if you eat hot dogs every day, this might be a good buy for you. If not, just use your toaster oven or a microwave. Or, just stop eating hot dogs altogether.

Welcome to my happy place, the world of silly snacks!

2009-01-05T16:53:00.007-05:00

It’s a well-known fact that I like to snack. I love snack-foods of all kinds (except for most flavored potato chips and any sort of meat product that’s been rendered chewy and dehydrated…aka beef jerky, deer jerky, fish jerky, etcetera). And when I’m in foreign locales, I love sniffing out local candies and snacks and developing unhealthy obsessions with them. So when I took a trip to Hong Kong a few years ago, I came back with a particular love for these little chocolate crème-filled cookies called Koala's March. Technically, the little koala-shaped snacks hail from Japan (of course), but seeing as how I’ve never been to Japan, I associate them with Hong Kong. There’s a Japanese grocery store—Sunrise Mart—in Manhattan’s East Village where I stock up on my Koala’s March and Pucca—little chocolate-filled pretzel things in the shape of fish, also an obsession leftover from the Hong Kong vacay. I usually buy them in November to take to my sister for her birthday. This year was no different except I could only find pancake-flavored! And this is why I adore the Japanese—the creators of Koala-shaped cookies filled with pancake-flavored crème.

P.S. Ummm....my beloved cookies were actually recalled in October 2008, since they were manufactured in China and may be contaminated with melamine. So, even though I love them dearly, you should probably steer clear for a while. Actually, this explains why I could only find the pancake flavor, as those were not recalled, while the King Size and Family Pack chocolate, strawberry, white chocolate and chestnut flavors were. Yeah, thanks China. Thanks a lot.

Garfield has taken over my taste buds.

2009-01-02T19:00:00.006-05:00

I tried out this recipe for lasagna a while back (by which I mean, October. Yeah, I’ve been meaning to post about it since then...oops?), and it was DELICIOUS. And since I’m refusing to have anything to do with the kitchen today, I wish I had some of it in front of me right now.

So in honor of my current lasagna craving, and my October ambition in the kitchen, here’s the recipe in all its cheesy, noodle-y, tomato sauce-y glory.

Warning: This lasagna took a while to cook and was A LOT of work, so I don’t recommend this for a weekday dinner, unless you have a severe case of the unemployment boredoms like I do, in which case CARRY ON!

Lasagna

Adapted from Simply Recipes.

Ingredients:
1 lb lean ground beef
½ medium sweet white onion, diced
½ large green bell pepper, seeds and veins removed, diced
½ lb dry lasagna noodles (requires 9 lasagna noodles – unbroken)
¼ cup sugar
1 28 oz can tomato sauce
½ 28 oz can stewed tomatoes
½ 6 oz can tomato paste
1 lb Ricotta cheese
1½ lb Mozzarella cheese (large flat square slices)
¾ lb freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Garlic powder
Oregano
Italian Spice
Salt
Garlic Salt
Parsley diced (fresh flat leaf preferred)
1 garlic clove, minced
White wine vinegar

Directions for the sauce:
Brown lean ground beef in skillet until lightly browned and cooked through. Put a few layers of paper towels in large bowl. With slotted spoon remove browned beef from skillet draining off excess beef fat and put on top of blotting towels. After all the browned beef has been removed from the skillet, drain off and dispose of excess beef fat. Wipe skillet clean with paper towel. (If your ground beef is sufficiently lean, there won’t be any excess fat to drain.) Add diced green pepper and onion to skillet. Brown for a few minutes on medium high heat, add browned beef back to the skillet, lower the heat to low and continue to cook for 5 more minutes stirring frequently. Transfer browned beef, green pepper and onions to 3 quart pot. Add tomato sauce, tomato paste, open stewed tomatoes and dice, then add. Add oregano, parsley, Italian Spice Mix to taste, probably 2 teaspoons of each. Add a pinch of garlic powder and a pinch of garlic salt, to taste. Add a dash of white wine vinegar. Add sugar a couple of teaspoons at a time, until desired level of sweetness, no more that ¼ cup of sugar. Stir and allow sauce to simmer 15-45 minutes to thicken. Stir frequently and be careful not to scorch the bottom. Remove from heat.

Putting it all together:
Cook 1 lb lasagna noodles in 6 quart pot per cooking directions on box. Stir often to prevent from sticking and be sure that water remains at a low boil during the entire cooking to prevent noodles from sticking. Drain in colander and place in a pan filled with cool water to keep the noodles from drying out and sticking together. Then in a dry lasagna pan, ladle one cup of sauce and spread along the bottom of the pan. Apply a layer of noodles 3 length wise, edges overlapping. Ladle sauce sparingly into center of the noodles. Apply a layer of mozzarella cheese slices on top of sauce. Place ricotta cheese dollops every 2 inches in center of noodles on top of mozzarella. Then sprinkle with a thin layer of grated parmesan. Repeat until you run out of room in the pan or ingredients! Sprinkle the top with grated mozzarella and parmesan. Tent lasagna pan with aluminum foil without letting the foil touch the noodles or sauce. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.

Serves 8.

Return to the land of internet connections

2008-12-30T10:55:00.001-05:00

Many apologies for the long absence. Two weeks ago Jon and I had to fly back to Arkansas for a family emergency, and we ended up staying through the Christmas holiday. It was a busy, heartbreaking, stressful couple of weeks. Needless to say, I didn’t have much time for writing. And even if I had, finding a free internet connection back home is like chasing a rainbow. So close, yet. so. far.

The internet hasn’t worked at my parent’s house for a year, even though they still pay for it. My sister lives an inconvenient hour-and-a-half away. Starbucks makes you pay for Wi-Fi. The library has the slowest connection I have seen in quite some time (Hello, dial-up! Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but still.). And for some reason my wonderful little laptop just won’t pick up signals at the one café in town that offers free wireless. (She’s a stubborn, snooty little thing, methinks.) I’m not above sitting in the parking lots of hotels and restaurants to steal a signal, either. Believe me, I will stoop quite low to get my online fix.

So, while I love being home with family and friends, Sonic Cokes and dirt roads and all, I am glad to be back to my wonderful wireless internet.

P.S. I have tons of new recipes to share courtesy of several family Christmas dinners, so be on the lookout. I’ll be back in a couple of days!

The sources of my inferiority complex. Or, Mouthwatering Blogs.

2008-12-12T18:58:00.005-05:00

You will never visit my blog again after you check out the food blogs compiled in Bon Appétit’s “Blog Envy” list.

No, really. I don’t blame you. Go, now. Shoo!

Seriously, though, go ahead and look through the slideshow. It’s incredible. I trolled through it and if Bon Appétit, a force to be reckoned with in the food magazine world, has envy issues over these blogs, then what I have is…something else entirely. Lust, perhaps?

But, since I’m not a jealous blogger, I have created a little list my personal favorites from the “Blog Envy” round-up for your reading pleasure.

-Not Eating Out in New York is among the blogs on the magazine’s list. I was already a fan before, but this just gives me a good excuse to rep for the blog! Blogger Cathy gives you everything you could ask for in a foodie blog. For instance, it has a great concept—she started Not Eating Out in New York as a project to see if she could actually refrain from restaurant dining in one of the finest culinary capitals of…ahem, the WORLD. Yeah, not easy. But, she pulled it off for 2 years! Like I said, great concept. Plus, she comes up with interesting, fresh new recipes with an eco-conscience.

-Next blog-hop over to Food Junta. Bon Appétit explains “the word ‘junta’—from the Spanish word juntar (‘to join’)—refers to a community of revolutionaries.” Honestly, I’m down for joining a community of food revolutionaries, especially when their tagline is “Empowering the young, broke and hungry.” Plus, Junta leaders, Claire and Kevin, have cool features for clueless cooks like me, such as the “Boot Camp” series. Viva la revolución!

-Delicious: Days, a site run by Nicky in Munich, is definitely worth a look, if for nothing more than the beautiful design and incredible photographs. I honestly couldn’t stick around there too long because there were sweets and cakes and cookies and my mouth was watering. I will be returning, however.

-And my last recommendation is to check out The Pink of Perfection, written by Sarah McColl. In addition to amazing looking recipes and treats (not to mention the Spicy, Sweet and Salty Rosemary Nuts included in Bon Appétit’s compilation), Sarah blogs about thrifty living and crafts. AND as an added bonus, her sister is Katy McColl, one of my favorite magazine writers back from my Jane-reading days (before it folded. *sniffle*).

Surf away, dudes and dudettes! But don’t forget about me!

It's My BIRTHDAY!

2008-12-11T12:42:00.003-05:00

Actually, no. It's not.

BUT! I did get a brithday present a few weeks ago. Do keep in mind that my birthday is in June. June 6th, to be exact, so it wasn't even my half-birthday on the day I came home to find a package from Amazon. I did a quick scan of the online-shopping files of my brain, but there were no recent purchases in memory.

I should have known that it was a super late birthday present from Courtney B. (BFF since 2nd grade, wut!), because A. she had texted me the week before asking what my apartment number was, and B. we ALWAYS exchange birthday presents late (although not usually quite this late).

Here’s the exciting part: she got me the Casserole Crazy cookbook (by Emily Farris) that I posted about in early November! (See, even though I don’t get paid for this blog, I guess it does have unexpected benefits.) I was so excited that I sat down and actually read the cookbook. Here’s an excerpt from the introduction that I love:

“This is a book for people who love to eat. It is not a book for people who like to make elaborate culinary presentations or impress dinner guests with knowledge of exotic vegetables or cuts of meat. This book is about taking ingredients that you know, that you love, that you can find, and baking those ingredients into one dish you can share with friends over an expensive bottle of wine or live off for a week when you’re waiting for your next paycheck.”

I couldn’t explain my intentions for food and for this blog any better if I tried.

P.S. I’ve already tried two recipes from the book and they did not disappoint. AND THANKS COURTNEY! YOU ROCK!

Last Turkey Post, I SWEAR!!!

2008-12-11T12:04:00.002-05:00

Like I said, this will be the last post about Herbert, our Thanksgiving Turkey. But, I really like making fun of myself, so I had to post this video that my sister, Kirby (The Kirbs), filmed as I unleashed the beast from his Butterball bag. Needless to say there are lots of unattractive faces on my part and a few disgusted squeals. In the end, however, Herbert grew on me, especially when I discovered the little bag of organs shoved into his body cavity. Oh, and this is probably not too safe for those with vegetarian or PETA-esque tendencies, obviously. So, watch with caution.

Fortune Time-Can't Touch This!

2008-12-04T17:06:00.007-05:00

At our local Chinese food takeout establishment, fortune cookies cost extra. And yet, I order them anyway. I’m willing to pay 35 cents for my fortune. However, I am not willing to pay 35 cents to order a fortune cookie which is always mysteriously absent from my order. So, even though I ate Chinese food merely 2 weeks ago, this is a recycled fortune from back in October. But it works in connection with the recent holidays, and you’ll see why.

“To be mature is to accept imperfections.”

Yes, such as this monstrosity (which I was very proud of regardless of its cosmetic...issues):

Instead of this:

Oh well, it looked disgusting, but still tasted like a turkey! Yep, I am so totally mature.

One last thing: here's Herbert before he was roasted up. Happy guy, I'd say.

Turkey Coma

2008-12-02T18:32:00.006-05:00

Yep, I’ve been in a turkey coma. I just woke up yesterday. It was pretty severe, really.

So…yeah.

Ok, I’m a bad liar. Honestly, I just abandoned the blog for the past week (or two) so that I could actually eat food instead of just write about it. Plus, I was having major turkey anxiety over the 18-pound monstrosity residing in my freezer that I was supposed to COOK. I’m an amateur at normal cooking, so the thought of cooking an entire bird was daunting. More on this later (possibly with video?).

For now, let’s deal with the turkey leftovers. And yes, when you have an 18-pound bird and only four people to eat it, there are going to be leftovers. The lady mags always whip out creative ways to use up these leftovers in their November issues, so here are a few ideas from this walking, breathing lady mag.

1. Feed it to the dog. Duh. (Or cat. My adorable fluffball, Prancy, is loving the turkey scraps.)
2. Toss pieces at the side of your neighbor’s house. This works best if your neighbor has some sort of siding, and if your turkey is moist-ish. Slather some leftover cranberry sauce on that foul if need be. Whoever’s turkey slab sticks the longest wins!
3. Leftover turkey is the prize. (Sneeeaaaky!)
4. Pack it in your kids’ lunches (or whoever you happen to be making lunch for). Obviously, don’t put it in your own though.
5. Try the recipe below.

Turkey Poofs

Adapted from "Chicken Poofs" recipe on Prevention.com.

1 cup reduced-sodium stuffing mix (if you have some leftover stuffing you can use it, or just buy a box of Stove Top. When I made this, I’m pretty sure I used the whole box, which is more like 2 cups of mix.)
1½ cups cooked turkey breast, shredded (or use chicken.)
1 cup fat-free sour cream
2 containers (8 rolls in each) reduced-fat crescent rolls

Preheat the oven according to the directions on the crescent roll container. In a medium saucepan, prepare the stuffing mix according to the package instructions. (If you’re using leftovers, skip to the next step.) Remove it from heat and mix in turkey and sour cream. On a large nonstick cookie sheet, unroll the crescent rolls. Separate them in pairs and arrange them to form squares, pinching together the seams as you flatten the dough. Place desired amount of stuffing mixture in the center of each square. Pull up the corners and make a pyramid of sorts with the crescent pastry. Pinch together all the seams, so you can’t see any turkey mixture. Bake for about 14 minutes, or until golden brown.

Nutritional info per serving: 336 calories, 13.5 g fat, 3.2 g sat fat, 21.9 mg cholesterol, 737.4 mg sodium, 35.7 g carbs, 9.3 g total sugars, 0.4 g dietary fiber, 15.8 g protein.

I’ll be whimpering in the corner over my sad, sad baking skills

2008-11-19T18:26:00.005-05:00

It was Liz’s birthday last Friday! (If you don’t know who Liz is yet, click here.) And she had a fantabulous party on Saturday in celebration of her birth—or as I like to think of it, her hatching. I’m pretty sure she emerged from a dinosaur egg as an adorable little troll doll. Anywho…

THIS was her birthday cake. Her cousin Ren made it. He goes to the Culinary Institute of America. The Unicorn Cake class must be amazing there. Seriously, I’m in love with this cake. Because I love unicorns…AND sprinkles. And it reminds me of this.

But most of all, I love this cake, because when I make a cake, it turns out like…

So, I made spinach and artichoke dip instead. I would share the recipe, but...umm...it might be easier to just look on the back of a Knorr's Vegetable Mix package. I also wrote a song for Liz while I was in the shower today!

“She’ll make you
Laugh a little
Gag a little
Maybe give you Staph a little

That’s the story of…
That’s the glory of Liz.”

Obviously, I just substituted a few choice words for the song, “The Glory of Love.” I know it from when Bette Midler's character sings it in Beaches, specifically this part. Seriously, you should go watch that clip! Imagine Liz in that costume. It’s awesome.

Lazy Dinner: Part 2

2008-11-17T18:19:00.004-05:00

It’s true. I cook a lot more than I used to. But sometimes, I just want to freaking eat.

Not cook.

EAT!

When this happens, Jon usually comes home to all of the contents of the fridge sitting on the cabinet.

“Leftovers night!” I scream before he can ask the hated, “What’s for dinner?” question.

But sometimes there aren’t any leftovers, which either means I’m eating cereal for dinner or making something incredibly easy. This is where pasta comes in. I love pasta nights for lazy days; it takes little to no effort to make and it's always warm and tasty. But pasta can get repetitive, which is why I tried to spruce it up last time. Here’s what I came up with:

I bought frozen tortellinis instead of regular pasta to mix up the regular spaghetti with pasta sauce routine. And buying frozen is a good choice because, like dried pasta, it can be stored for months, which means that you have it on hand the next time the thought of cooking makes you want to stab someone. After boiling (tortellinis take less than five minutes, even when frozen), serve with store-bought tomato or pesto sauce.

Then pair the tortellinis with a vegetable or salad, and this Zucchini-Garlic Toast. In the time it takes your water to boil and the pasta to cook, you can make this bread and take the boring pasta dinner up a notch, all without having to do much cooking.

Zucchini-Garlic Toast
Recipe adapted from a spring 2008 issue of First magazine.

Prep Time: 5 minutes Total Time: 10 minutes
(It usually takes me so much longer to make a recipe than the “total time” listed, but this bread really only took 10-15 minutes to make.)

1 loaf Italian bread (about 12”) cut lengthwise into 3 slices.
1 small zucchini, halved and shredded
1 cup shredded 5-cheese Italian blend
3 cloves garlic (I was super lazy and just substituted a few sprinkles of garlic powder.)
1 Tbs. chopped roasted red peppers (I didn’t have any of these on hand, so I left it out. I’m sure the peppers really add to the flavor, though, so include it if you can.)
½ Tbs. chopped fresh oregano (Go for dried if that’s what you have in your cabinets!)

Heat broiler. Broil bread 3 minutes, turning once. In bowl, combine remaining ingredients; season with salt and pepper. Place grilled bread on foil or baking sheet. Top each bread slice with 1/3 cup of zucchini mixture. Broil toast 1 minute, or until cheese is melted. Cut diagonally into 2”-inch thick slices.

Casserole Crazy? Indeed.

2008-11-13T18:23:00.004-05:00

After living in a cinder-block prison cell my freshman year of college, I was ecstatic to move on to a roach-infested apartment-style dorm in Chinatown. This was back in my non-cooking days, but even then I was excited to have a real kitchen. So my new roomies and I decided that we should take turns making everyone a meal once a week. Kristin usually made pasta (delicious pasta with lots of vegetables, I might add). And I remember Liz making chili with imitation (soy?) beef and blue pancakes (also yummy stuff).

I always made casseroles.

I am truly a casserole freak. I really, really, really like casseroles (especially tex-mex ones). So I was excited to learn that someone has deemed my favorite dish worthy of its very own cookbook.

Emily Farris, a fellow lover of casseroles, has compiled a list of upgraded casserole recipes from friends and family, as well as a few celebrity chefs like Paula Deen and Bobby Flay, in her new cookbook Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven. Farris is a young urbanite and a fun-looking gal (she hosts an annual casserole competition in Brooklyn), so I’m sure the book will be filled with classy recipes and quirky commentary.

You can check out her blog for more information, as well as a few of her original recipes. And if you’re interested in buying the book, it’s available on Amazon. Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait until after the holidays to splurge on this one, but I can’t wait to get my hands on it!

Liz, The Modern Day Hunter-Gatherer (and some-time comic)

2008-11-11T20:40:00.006-05:00

Say hello to Dudette in the Kitchenette's very first comic (!), drawn by one of the very few people willing to listen to all of my crap and frequent life complaints-Liz. She was a little jarred by the upbeat nature of my blog, so her hilarious comics about kitchen thrift will be appearing regularly to add a much needed blend of dark and disgusting to my barrage of cupcakes and rainbows. In her first Broke Kitchen comic, Liz lays out a plan for eating a balanced (or at least, protein-rich) breakfast. If you're having trouble reading the print, click on the picture to see a larger version. Check out Liz's blog, Lizbot, for more humor in the form of haikus and various musings.

Btw, thanks Liz!!! You rock. :)

Pizza Delivery Guys Aren’t Hot

2008-11-10T12:20:00.007-05:00

No, really. They aren’t.

(No offense, guys.)

You usually don’t find yourself opening your door to find some Brad Pitt look-alike handing you a perfect, steaming-hot pizza exactly 30 minutes after you order. In reality, you're calling the pizza place an hour after your pizza should have been delivered. You stumble to the door delirously when someone finally knocks, grumble at Joe the Plumber (who simultaneously pulls off the Joe the Pizza Delivery Guy and Joe Six-Pack graveyard shifts) and shell out $25 bucks, only to realize you didn't get what you ordered after he's driven away.

So put down the phone. Unless you’re throwing a birthday party for your kid (or yourself!), there’s no excuse for ordering in pizza.

At least, you won’t have a good excuse anymore after you try this recipe. It’s super easy, and you can make it in the amount of time you’d have to wait for a delivery. Plus, it’s healthier than what you can get from a chain restaurant, because you control what you put into it. This pizza is loaded with veggies, but I still recommend giving it a try even if veggie pizzas aren’t your thing. I’m a plain cheese girl myself (I only like toppings if I’m eating at Rod’s Pizza back home), but I have fallen in love with this recipe. Goodbye Pizza Delivery Guy!

Four-Veggie Pizza

Adapted from August 2008 issue of Prevention.

(Excuse the crappy photo. Obviously I lack both basic skill and talent in the photography department.)

Time: 35 minutes + standing time (this will take more time if you’re really slow at chopping like me.) Servings: 4

1 thin whole wheat pizza crust (12” diameter) Ex: Boboli ¼ sundried tomato pesto sauce (I use jarred pasta sauce, because that’s what I usually have handy.)

1 small zucchini, sliced (about 1 cup)

1 medium orange or yellow bell pepper, cut into thin strips (about 1 cup)

1 cup sliced cremini or button mushrooms

½ medium red onion, thinly sliced (1/2 cup)

2 tsp olive oil

2 oz fresh mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced

2 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

¾ cup quartered grape or cherry tomatoes

½ cup thinly sliced FRESH basil leaves (seriously, don’t leave this part out! And make sure to use fresh basil leaves. Soooo good!)

pepperoni slices (optional. I add them for Jon.)

(A picture of the veggies, just because the colors are so vibrant. Seriously, that yellow pepper was neon. Also, I used squash instead of zucchini, because the Farmer's Market didn't have any. Squash works just as well, though.)

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Put crust on baking sheet or pizza pan. Toss zucchini, pepper, mushrooms and onion with oil. Place in medium skillet over medium-high heat and sauté until veggies are soft and excess liquid has evaporated, about 6 to 8 minutes. Spread sauce over crust and sprinkle with fresh basil. Top evenly with cheeses. Arrange sautéed vegetables over cheese and top with tomatoes. Bake 18 to 20 minutes until crust is baked through and slightly crisp. Let stand a few minutes before cutting into quarters.

Nutrition info per serving (1/4 pizza) 301 calories, 16 g protein, 42 g carbs, 7 g fiber, 11 g fat, 3 g sat fat, 10 mg cholesterol, 600 mg sodium.

Free Cupcakes!!!!

2008-11-07T15:55:00.006-05:00

Breaking News: all my Manhattan peeps stop by Crumbs today for a FREE cupcake. I just got back from picking up a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcake with my friend, Liz-the genius who found out about the cupcake give-away. I can't vouch for all locations, but I know they're giving them away at the 501 Madison Avenue store, between 52nd and 53rd streets. Woohooo!

(On the left is my Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcake. I might have already been nibbling on it before I remembered to take a picture. Liz's Cookies and Creme is on the right. Yum!)

Subway PSA-Get the Small Fries, Fattie

2008-11-06T11:37:00.006-05:00

Every transplant New Yorker eventually learns that ads on the subway serve a higher purpose than blind, mindless consumerism-promotion. Most often, the ads save you from awkward eye-contact during rush hour; after all, reading about Dr. Zizmor's latest laser skin treatment discounts beats staring at the stranger standing 2 inches in front of you. Sometimes, though, subway ads offer much more than distraction and avoidance.

Take this ad for example. I saw it yesterday on the 6 train, and I thought it was kind of hilarious, kind of awesome. It spoke to me. "Get the small fries and the diet soda, fattie!" it said. (Ok, not really, but that's what I felt like it was saying to me.)

Anyway, the ad really states "2000 calories A DAY is all most adults should eat," above pictures of two McDonald's-esque double cheeseburgers served with fries and sodas. Look closely and you'll see that one double cheeseburger is served with large fries and a regular soda (and packs 1250 calories), and one comes with small fries and a diet soda (I took this picture with the crappy camera on my phone. Does the burger on the left say 670 or 620? Either way, those fries are serving up some killer amounts of calories.)

This ad is seems to be another facet of New York City's campaign against obesity. Earlier this year, the New York City Board of Health mandated that chain restaurants in the city must put calorie information on menu boards and menus. Ever since those calorie counts have been popping up, I noticed that I've been eating less junk. (Mostly at Starbucks. I can't get over some of the donuts and muffins having 400-500 calories! D'oh!) Do you think knowing how many calories a meal from a burger chain is packing would stop you from eating it, or at least cause you to change your selection to something with fewer calories?

If this is lazy, then count me in.

2008-11-04T16:09:00.006-05:00

So, I’ve been a little lazy with my cooking lately.

I think it’s a matter of Halloween and Election Day preoccupation that’s been soaking up my energy. But sometimes good things come from slacking on dinner. Behold:

Mmmmm…grilled cheese and tomato soup with a mountain of shredded mozzarella cheese on top. I’ve made this twice in the last week or so (like I said, I’ve been slacking). Obviously, canned soup paired with American “cheese” slices on Wonder Bread isn’t gourmet, but it is some serious comfort food. Plus, when you get home from a long day at work (or from a draining interview, in my case), you can make dinner and be plopped down on the couch in 15 minutes—less if you heat the soup in the microwave.

And it’s cheap. Until I find a job, cheap is very, very good.

Give a shout-out to your favorite comfort foods in the comments!

Squeeeee!

2008-11-04T13:24:00.005-05:00

If you haven’t seen it already (which you probably have, because I’ve been telling everyone I know!), go check out Jezebel’s post on election day party treats. Special thanks to Hortense for including my Pretty Please Don’t Pick Palin Peach Pie in the line-up. I have a huge Jezebel girl crush, so this feels like Santa Clause came early or something.

And good luck to everyone who’s going to the polls today!

Pretty Please Don’t Pick Palin Peach Pie

2008-10-31T17:27:00.006-04:00

Why yes, I too am amazed that I managed to work politics into a food blog…

In all seriousness, I don’t usually wear my politics on my sleeve (or on my buttons or my graphic print t-shirts. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!). But in the case of Sarah Palin, I can’t help but loudly declare my distaste. Her hate-mongering and feminist-squashing scare me and my ladybits. So it might sound strange that I decided to make a pie with her moniker dominating the title.

Believe me, I have my reasons and my inspirations. Actually I had two extra pie crusts and some frozen peach slices from the farmer’s market chillin’ in my freezer, and I thought, “Hey! I should make a peach pie!”

Please keep in mind that I had never made a pie before, and…I don’t really like fruit pies? Chocolate pie with meringue, however…

Anyway, I had set my mind on making a peach pie, even if I had very little desire to eat it. Plus, I was inspired by the film, Waitress, an adorable movie about a waitress (played by Kerri Russell) with a miserable life and a knack for making pies. While the pies in the movie mostly look delectable (especially the one with blackberries and raspberries in a chocolate crust), one of the best parts of the film is the pie names. A few favorites: “I don’t want Earl’s baby pie,” “Baby screaming it’s head off in the middle of the night and ruining my life pie,” “I can’t have an affair because it’s wrong and I don’t want Earl to kill me pie.”

Hence, my very own pie named after an incredibly resilient source of misery—“Pretty Please Don’t Pick Palin Peach Pie.”

It would be awesome if people took this pie to their election night parties next week! And for all of you going to a McCain/Palin election night party, you could change the name of the pie to something Palin positive…I guess…if you absolutely had to.

Pretty Please Don’t Pick Palin Peach Pie

From All Recipes (the recipe below is a combination of this recipe and Laura M.’s comment)

1 package pastry for a 9-inch double crust pie (or just buy two pie crusts like I did!)
1 egg, beaten
3 cups sliced, peeled peaches
2 cups blueberries (You can go with all peaches—you’d need 5 cups—or add the blueberries for a twist. I really liked the subtle sour taste the blueberries added.)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
½ cup all-purpose flour
1½ cup white sugar
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Line your pie plate with one crust and brush with some of the beaten egg. Place the sliced peaches and blueberries in a large bowl and sprinkle with lemon juice. Stir gently. In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Pour over the peaches and blueberries and mix gently. Pour into the pie crust, and dot with butter. Cover with the other pie crust, and fold the edges under. Flute the edges to seal or press the edges with the tines of a fork dipped in egg. Brush the remaining egg over the top crust. Cut several slits in the top crust to vent steam (or a heart like I did. I think it makes the whole thing seem a little less malicious and more "folksy!"). Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven, then reduce the heat to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) and bake for an additional 30 to 35 minutes, until the crust is brown and the juice begins to bubble through the vents. If the edges brown to fast, cover them with strips of aluminum foil about halfway through baking. Cool before serving. This tastes better warm than hot. I actually preferred it when room-ish temperature, but everyone has their pie preferences! Enjoy!

P.S. I sent in my absentee ballot today! I'm no longer a voting virgin!

It’s Officially Pumpkin Season

2008-10-30T11:01:00.009-04:00

I don’t do pumpkin pie. I don’t like to eat it, and I don’t like making things I’m not going to eat, so…I don’t do pumpkin pie. BUT! I do love pumpkins. It’s a superficial love, since I mainly value them for their decorative and carving possibilities, but it’s something. In fact, I made the BF drive me all the way up to Yorktown Heights (about 30 miles upstate) to handpick my pumpkins this year. We went to a delightful (and ridiculously crowded) apple orchard, Wilkens Fruit and Fir Farm, where they grow their own fruit and firs, and they throw pumpkins from giant crates into a field for an “all-natural” pumpkin patch! Whatever, I was still pleased. A fake pumpkin patch is still more exciting than the pumpkin bin at A&P.

(Jon checking out the selection of mini-pumpkins)

So we carved them a few days back, and while I’m not quite obsessed-enough to carve out the insides and make a pumpkin pie, I did scrape out all the seeds to roast! They turned out SO yummy. I used a recipe (kinda) from All Recipes. I love these websites because there are tons of great recipes, but also because people can leave comments with crucial tips and suggestions that can make the end result better and my life easier. So here’s a mash-up of the recipe I looked at, and a comment by a pumpkin seed connoisseur, Tracy.

Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkin Seeds (however much you can dig out!)
Salt (or any other seasoning. The recipe suggests Cajun, which sounds kinda awesome, but I just used salt.)
Vegetable Oil or Pam spray

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Smooth out seeds onto baking sheet. You can rinse the seeds if you want, but I left mine with a little pumpkin goop for added flavor. If you don’t rinse, just make sure you get all the strings and most of the gunk off of the seeds. Then coat the pan and seeds in either Pam or vegetable oil. Add desired amount of salt (or other seasoning) and mix. Pop them in the oven and cook for 45 minutes or so, taking them out occasionally to stir. Turn off the oven and leave them in for another 30-45 minutes while the oven cools. Then consume heartily.

Haha! Get it? No? Oh.

2008-10-29T11:22:00.001-04:00

This is random, and has nothing to do with food. I simply feel the need to share the reasoning behind some of my pop-culture references in various posts. Memory is a bizarre thing, triggered by strange, sometimes seemingly unconnected words or events. Associations with food and smells are especially strong for most people, so most of the time I have no control over what springs out of my little brain. Some references are so obscure that you wouldn't know what I'm talking about unless you frequented the Malvern, Arkansas Western Sizzlin' in the 90s and played with the fortune-telling quarter machine in the front entrance. And some are more obvious, especially if you love David Bowie. This is the song from the 1986 cult classic, Labyrinth, that I reference in my Chili post label. Is there a method to the madness? I like to think not.

Drumroll, please!

2008-10-27T17:57:00.004-04:00

I now give you…

the first recipe!

I’m not sure why I haven’t posted a recipe yet. I’ve been cooking up a storm since June. Better late than never?

Anywho! It’s starting to get chilly in my neck of the Hudson, which makes me a wee bit sad, but there’s always something good that comes along with the cold—hot, gut-warming, slurptastic soups.

In this case, it’s not quite a soup, but a chili! I’ve already made this particular recipe twice in the span of a month or so, which probably has something to do with its name—3-bean Chili. I have a soft spot in my heart for beans. My sister, Kirby (who also took the picture below), and I made this chili as an early birthday treat for our dad on my recent trip to Colorado. Kirby had something fancier in mind, but once I mentioned to Dad that I had a recipe for Mexican Cornbread, all bets were off. We had to switch gears and find an entrée suitable enough to grace the table with the precious cornbread.

Read on for this simple, quick chili recipe and a cornbread concoction that both my father and my boyfriend can’t stop raving about. (Seriously, you should have seen their faces. Ecstasy.)

3-Bean Chili

From the September issue of Family Circle. Find the recipe online here.

Makes: 8 cups Prep: 10 minutes Cook: 19 minutes

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium-size onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
3 tablespoons chili powder
2 sweet bell peppers
1 medium-size zucchini, trimmed and diced
1 can (14½ oz) diced tomatoes
1 can (8 oz) no-salt-added tomato sauce
¼ cup ketchup
½ teaspoon dried oregano
1 can (15 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can (15 oz) small white beans, drained and rinsed
1 can (15 oz) red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
Grated cheddar cheese (optional, but totally recommended!)
(Also, if you want to add 1 lb. ground beef or turkey like we did for my dad, be sure to add another can of tomato sauce and some water, as well as extra seasonings.)

Heat oil in a large nonstick pot over medium heat. Add onion, garlic and chili powder and cook 3 minutes. Add peppers and zucchini and continue to cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in tomatoes, tomato sauce, ketchup and oregano. Cook 8 minutes. Gently stir in the beans. Cover pot and continue to cook 3 minutes. Serve with cheese.

I love that magazines are providing nutrition info now too!
Per Cup: 203 calories; 4 g fat (0 g sat.); 11 g protein; 39 carbs; 12 g fiber; 678 mg sodium; 0 mg cholesterol.

Spicy Skillet Cornbread

I think this is from an old issue of Working Mother magazine, circa fall/winter 2007, while I was an intern there.

Makes: 8 servings Prep: 10 minutes Bake: 20 minutes

2 medium-size ears of corn (or about 1½ cup of kernels…sometimes I get lazy and use canned corn, which tastes just as good!)
¾ cup all-purpose flour
½ cup cornmeal
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
¼ cup milk
¼ cup buttermilk
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1 egg
1 jar (2 oz) pimiento, drained and chopped
1 small jalapeno, seeded and chopped
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper

Heat oven to 450 degrees. Place an 8-inch ovenproof nonstick skillet (I totally use a cake pan!) in oven to heat. Cut kernels off corn and set aside. In a medium-size bowl, mix flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder and salt. In a large measuring cup, combine milk, buttermilk, butter and egg; add to flour mixture and stir until blended. Fold in corn, pimiento, jalapeno and cayenne and stir. Using a hot pad, remove skillet from oven and coat generously with nonstick cooking spray. Pour batter into skillet and spread to edges of pan. Bake for about 20 minutes or until top is golden and slightly cracked. Cool for 10 minutes. Cut into 8 wedges.

Per Serving: 143 calories; 4 g fat (2 g sat.); 4 g protein; 22 g carbs; 2 g fiber; 364 mg sodium; 36 mg cholesterol.

May I interest you in an intestine? Ogre finger, perhaps?

2008-10-27T17:42:00.004-04:00

I LOVE Halloween.

The holiday has nearly perfect timing. When the weather starts to change, officially marking the end of summer, I start to mourn for my popsicles, summer dresses and days boating around the lake back home in Arkansas. And then Halloween comes to my rescue.

Part of the awesomeness comes from the way adults are allowed to run around like lunatics (especially in NYC), dressed up as Superman, a giant baby or the ever-popular Slutoween variety costume. It’s the one day of the year where it becomes socially acceptable to revert back to childhood and play dress-up (unless, of course, you work in Hollywood, where it’s Halloween everyday!). I lean towards homemade costumes, just because it makes the process more festive (plus, you won’t show up to an event in the same pirate wench getup as someone else).

And then there’s the food.

Talk about creative. People go all out when concocting Halloween treats. Back when my bestie, Courtney, and I were in 7th grade, we decided to throw a Halloween party. We put plastic spiders in the ice cubes, which I thought was the coolest thing ever. If I had a party to go to this year, I would definitely be making one of these horrific/awesome dishes they've rounded up over on the FoodieView blog. I mean, Slime Filled Cupcakes from the Black Lagoon?! Nutella-filled pastries shaped to look like intestines?! Brilliant. Just brilliant.

I’ll be going out in my homemade ladybug costume to mingle with the rest of the crazies in the city, but maybe next year...

Terminator, Meet the Margarator

2008-10-24T16:16:00.010-04:00

My dad took me to see a Terminator movie once. I literally don’t remember one thing about it (sorry, dad), although that was when I was a teenager and hadn’t fully realized my genetic predisposition to like science fiction, fantasy and other geekery. These days I’m not totally embarrassed to admit I tune in weekly for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but it’s still not my favorite show. That prize goes out to the dearly departed Gilmore Girls, among others. (You can expect I will be seeing next summer’s Terminator Salvation installation, but that’s more of a testament to my Christian Bale fangirldom than anything else.)

Okay, marching robotically onward towards the point—last week, while chilling with my dad, he introduced me to Terminator’s distant cousin, the Margarator.

Much like the Terminator is not your ordinary Jetson’s domestic robot, the Margarator is not your ordinary blender. It grinds up your margarita mixture and spits it out at the perfect consistency (and through its spout) and with half the hassle of your, or rather MY crappy old p.o.s. of a blender, which is why I’m filing this under kitchen covet. It is definitely making the Christmas list.

Here’s the smoothie recipe my dad and I came up with while experimenting with the Margarator. Let me know how it turns out…and if you had to toss your conventional blender afterwards to justify stepping over to the steel side.

Mango Smoothies

1½ cup Mango (frozen)
1 cup Pineapple (frozen)
½ cup Strawberries (frozen)
1 Banana
2½ cups Apple Juice
1½ cups Water

Blend well and serve immediately. If your conventional blender has problems with blending so much frozen fruit, try to use mostly fresh fruit and only add enough frozen fruit to get a slushy consistency.

Makes approximately 5 servings, which is about half as much as what's shown in this picture. Don't be fooled by the overflowing last cup, people!

Let me come visit you and stuff my face. Mkay, thanks!

2008-10-22T13:41:00.012-04:00

Did you know that you have to cook things differently in higher altitudes? Well, that’s what my Colorado-dwelling dad tells me anyway. I didn’t have any cooking troubles while visiting the Mile-High City this past week, but I also didn’t cook so much. Which is not to say that I didn’t eat.

A lot.

Because I did.

Eat.

A lot.

In fact, that’s the very first thing that I did after I landed, grabbed my bags from the carousel and plopped into my dad’s car. I was starving because the airline that I flew with doesn’t serve peanuts for free anymore. PEANUTS! for peanut’s sake. I don’t even like peanuts, but I was hungry. I would’ve eaten them. But, noooo, all they had were “lunch boxes,” which cost actual money, of which I only had three lonely little dollar bills, because I already had to pay 15 bucks to check one bag. So I subsisted on the free beverages (cranberry juice for me!) and my travel toothpaste. When my sister, Kirby, and my dad came to pick me up, the first thing we did was eat.

Later that night, I was majorly craving some Krispy Kreme (I associate the delish donut chain with Denver since that’s where I first sank my sweet tooth into one of the confections.), so we drove 30 miles to find an open one.

Obviously, we needed some of these donuts.

The donut documentary we were watching on the travel/discovery/history channel immediately before the donut pilgrimage really didn’t help us to forget our donut longings either.

Now I have decided I need to visit Portland, Oregon for the sole purpose of getting a voodoo doll donut from Voodoo Doughnut, where “The Magic is in the Hole” (Uh huh, that’s what she said).

In the meantime, I can hit up the equally-fantastic-looking Donut Plant, which is right here in New York in Manhattan’s Lower East Side!

So, I ate a ton of food, hung out with my family and indulged in a much needed break from job-searching. Plus, I rode a rollercoaster (yay!), which I followed up with a bag of cotton candy (double yay!). In other words, you can expect to read a lot more about all of my Colorado cooking (and eating) over the next few posts.

Give Me a Quarter, I'll Tell You Your Fortune!

2008-10-06T20:56:00.006-04:00

I’m not wild about Chinese restaurants that have the word “buffet” anywhere in the neon title. Nor am I a fan of Chinese food that you can order by number and have delivered straight to your door at midnight. I think it partly goes back to being a kid and ending up in the restaurant bathroom anytime we ate Asian cuisine (thanks, Irritable Bowel Syndrome!).

MSG be damned though, because I still eat the stuff. I can chow down on most Asian foods now (I go crazy for pan fried dumplings), and I’m even able to stomach the crappy Americanized buffet versions—if only because I love my boyfriend and he needs his General Tso’s Chicken fix every few weeks.

But I’m not gonna lie—I do it for the fortune cookie, that cardboard and sugar buttcrack of a cookie that contains the cryptic and curious answers to life’s big mysteries (and some lucky numbers and language lessons, if you’re really lucky).

I had some egg drop soup and chicken fried rice the other night. The food was meh, but I got a good fortune and I’m sharing:

“Success is never final and failure never fatal. It’s courage that counts.”

Perhaps this is a good omen for my never-ending job hunt? And maybe for all of the other people out there who can’t find work while our economy slips further and further into the vat of Chinese buffet chocolate pudding.

Remember Wall Street, giant vats of pudding are kind of like quicksand: the more you struggle to get out of the mess, the further you slip.

Hey! Now that I think of it, that sounds like a pretty good fortune.

Mah Boook

2008-10-05T17:13:00.007-04:00

This (points left) is mah boook. In my previous life as a college student, mah boook was just another notebook, albeit much hipper than your average 3-ring binder—note the super kawaii Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls gracing the cover. It was lugged about to classes in my pink backpack and filled with notes about…important things that have already exited my memory (thanks 5-figure education!). Of course, since the notebook is not your everyday, run-of-the-mill, Zac Efron or Hannah Montana juvenile binder, I was obligated to find a higher purpose for Gwen and her girls after my educational journey had ended.

Now it is mah boook for all things coook. Since the beginning of June, I have been filling my little plastic sheet protectors with every recipe I can get my grubby, non-note-taking hands on. I’ve been pulling recipes from magazines (Family Circle is my fave for easy, yummy recipes). I troll around on Simply Recipes and All Recipes specifically to add to the growing collection. Sometimes I call my mom and jot down an old favorite I’m dying to make. I don’t type it up later either; I just throw in the handwritten note to add character to mah boook. It’s a never-ending work in progress. I hope someday mah boook resembles my mom’s book. She isn’t a cook either, but she has a book. And every time we bring out a certain recipe, I’m always surprised to find a little kid’s scrawl of various numbers on the back of the handwritten ingredients and instructions. My mom wasn’t too picky about typing up her recipes either; she just threw in the version written on the back of my third-grade math homework. The best books aren’t just a compilation of all the best recipes, they’re almost like time-capsules of good memories and friends and family dinners.

So, I know it’s not the most original cooking tip in the kitchen, but I think there’s a reason it’s repeated so often. Start filling up your own book with favorite recipes. I slip mine into plastic protector sheets and organize with colorful tabs according to meal course, but the best part is testing out a new recipe and writing down your rating in the margins! And 10 years from now, you may just pull out a recipe and be surprised at what you find hiding behind it.

Let the wild mess begin!

2008-09-13T13:19:00.007-04:00

I am not a cook.

I have never studied at a culinary institute, nor have I taken a cooking class at a community college. I’ve never been a part of the food industry at all, except when I’m screaming at the drive-thru at Taco Bell, or just stuffing my face at one of my favorite restaurants in the city. I’ve never been a waitress or a hostess or a dishwasher or a cook. The closest I’ve been to selling food for profit was when I had to make popcorn for a summer job at a wax museum (and the time my sister and I decided to sell cotton candy—made from my kiddie cotton candy machine—during one of my mom’s yard sales). So, there you have it. I’m as far from an expert as you could possibly get.

So what’s up with the blog? Basically, I really, really like food. Lately, I troll around on the internet to find new recipes. I rip them out of magazines and call my mom to jot down old favorites. I have dreams about this one perfect warm goat cheese salad. I also have dreams about fields of frolicking skunks, but that just speaks to my general unhinged-ness.

I’m also unhappily unemployed. I just graduated this spring with a journalism degree, and I live in the greater New York City area, which all add up to joblessness. So this summer while I’ve been job searching, I’ve also been trying to figure out what I want to do with ALL of my glorious (read: excruciatingly boring) free time. I’ve dabbled in yoga, which I really like, actually. I have literally Netflixed every available episode of Grey’s Anatomy and Heroes. I have finally been able to read neglected books that have been waiting patiently on dorm room shelves for four years. (Not that I didn’t love my class reading lists—with the exception of Eat, Pray, Love—but it’s nice to read a book leisurely instead of racing to finish it in one night.) But my biggest summer discovery is that I enjoy cooking.

Before this summer, I always had a sort of pride in my cooking ignorance. I thought that by bucking the 1950s homemaker stereotype, I was somehow more interesting and a better feminist. But seriously, does cooking make you a 1950s housewife? Not so much. It just means that you eat better food (most of the time, anyways). I’ve realized that if I want to be in the kitchen, then crafting a meal doesn’t make me a slave to my stove. There isn’t some government conspiracy (merely institutionalized sexism!) to keep women in the kitchen and out of the workplace. Although, in most families I’m sure it is still the norm for the mother to cook dinner even if both parents work, but let’s not go there.

With all of this time on my hands, I think I’m finally starting to figure out how all of the pieces of my personality fit together…I like to bake little ladylike cookies, but I can still let out the raunchiest burp you’ve ever heard. I’m currently a housegirlfriend (not wife, times are a changin’) and sometimes I even enjoy it, but on a deeper level I’m merely a struggling writer. I obsess over health studies, but somehow manage to convince myself a 5-pound bag of Sour Patch Kids is a good buy. Basically, things are a little messy in my world, and in my kitchen.